Holiday Blues?

[ste_noni]

Okay, first, I actually like the holidays.  And I think that's why I'm feeling down.  It's just impossible for me to get into the holiday spirit when it's so hot and humid.  Who feels like having hot chocolate and wearing warm fuzzy socks while hanging up ornaments in the heat.

Actually, today is very gray and rainy - it was 68 when I got it my car which is almost the lowest temperature I've ever seen here.  And normally I like gray and rainy.  But I think what's getting me down is that I keep getting these sort of emotional flashbacks from last year at this time.  I'd been working for two weeks and really missed Ellie.  And I was feeling like sort of a bad mom for leaving her at daycare because she cried every time I left her.

Most days, I have to convince her to come home with me.  But this morning, none of her regular teachers were in her room yet.  I left her with another teacher who I know, but it just felt different, which to me usually means bad, and that's how I felt all the time when I was leaving her last year, so I'm thinking that I'm just revisiting those feelings from last year. 

Well, this was very whiny and rambly.  I can't wait until January when I get to go to New Mexico and see some snow!  (Oh, and have a baby!)  Seriously, I'm excited about the baby but I hope Ellie and I get a few chances to play in some snow.  I'm totally going to wait until after Christmas and buy Ellie one of those crazy Hanna Andersson snowsuits.

Comments

[sail-aweigh.livejournal.com]

I totally understand the holiday blues. It's hard being in a foreign country, even if you like that country, for the important holidays. I had no problem with hot Christmases living in Arizona and California, but as soon as I was out of the country it was different. When I was stationed in Spain, my daughter was living in Germany and I'd go visit her there. Even with the snow, it just didn't feel the same. It wasn't home. I liked learning about how different countries celebrate Christmas, it was fun to see it from a different perspective, but there were moments when it was all just too strange in it's familiarity, too. Very cognitively dissonant. So, just saying, don't feel bad for feeling bad. It happens.