Anniversary

[ste_noni]

Today is our five year anniversary. I'm pleased that we have been married this long, but thinking about it as I lay in bed last night, I figured out that we have lived together 4 of the last 25 months. It will be 4 of the last 31 by the time he gets home (stupid George Bush!). That's a long time to be alone. Of course, we have seen each other on vacations and long weekends and so forth, but it was March 2002 the last time we lived together and just spent Saturdays hanging out like regular people eating panckaes. The thing I have hated the most since we moved here in being alone all the time. I have a handful of friends, but they are all busy and I don't see any of them on a daily basis. Back in Colorado, I had a much thicker web of friends and many of them were at school with me. I think it's no surprise that I have developed so many online friends in the last 2 years.

I've been thinking about this on and off for the last few days, so this next part surprised me. My mom told me she is coming out on May 27th. We had talked about June 1st, but she got a cheap ticket for that day. Now, I really like spending time with her and I love it anytime there is someone else in my house. It is so nice to have the company. But the realization that May 26th is my last day alone made me a bit sad. I guess that's because it's my last day alone EVER. I will spend the next 6 months with my parents and Joe will be back when I leave them. And, Peaberry will be with me for a very long time to come. She may not talk for a while, but I am about to lose the complete freedom that had been the best (but loneliest) part of being alone all the time. The good part of being alone is that I eat what I want when I want and never have to explain why dinner isn't better or why the clean laundry is on the table, or why the house is a mess. When it bugs me, I fix it. If I want to watch 5 episodes of Farscape or Buffy in one night, I can.

In the end, I know I would always chose to have someone around. It makes the moments of alone time more precious and is ultimately more healthy for me. But I guess I had better appreciate these last 21 days of complete extended aloneness since I may be 50 before it happens again.

Comments

[noradeirdre.livejournal.com]

Happy Anniversary!

I'm glad you're able to take the time to appreciate the solitude while it lasts. (however fleeting, at this point)

And, heh, Peaberry!

[ste-noni.livejournal.com]

Back when she was the size of a peaberry coffee bean, I used it as an example to explain to Joe how tiny she was at that point. He thought it was a good nickname and it stuck.

[casperflea.livejournal.com]

Congratulations! I like the name Peaberry, but will your mother approve?

If it would not impinge on your pleasurable loneliness in the next 3 weeks, do think about coming up to Durham another Sunday.

[ste-noni.livejournal.com]

Joe gave her the name Peaberry way back at the beginning. (Maybe everyone knows this, but a peaberry is a very small coffee bean.) At the time, she was about the size of a peaberry and the nickname stuck. For a name on her birth certificate, we have tentatively chosen Elizabeth Lyndsey and we will call her Ellie. When I talked to my mom about it again, she was okay with it. I haven't "announced" it yet, since we could always decide it's not the right name, but I'm pretty sure she will be an Ellie.

Durham on a Sunday sounds good, but I'm not sure I have any more free weekends (next weekend I have plans and then graduation is the week after). Maybe a differnet day, if that works with your schedule?

[spectralbovine.livejournal.com]

Happy anniversary!

[ste-noni.livejournal.com]

Thanks! and thanks for hooking me up!

Go for it! Peaberry's better than Apple

[hushpuppy22.livejournal.com]

You know, freedom isn't everything it's cracked up to be. Right now you probably don't take pleasure in those small bits of solitude; however, when the baby arrives and things get hectic, you'll treasure moments of silence and independence.

I wanted to inspire you and make you feel better by finding inspirational quotes. Please give me credit for trying. Here goes nothing--

"A babe in the house is a well-spring of pleasure, a messenger of peace and love, a resting place for innocence on earth, a link between angels and men"
Martin Fraquhar Tupper

"You don't really understand human nature unless you know why a child on a merry-go-round will wave at his parents every time around - and why his parents will always wave back."
William D. Tammeus

Re: Go for it! Peaberry's better than Apple

[ste-noni.livejournal.com]

however, when the baby arrives and things get hectic, you'll treasure moments of silence and independence.

I know this is true. I've actually made a conscious effort the last 4 days to do NOTHING but watch TV and eat yummy food. I'm trying to bore myself as much as possible so that when I start studying for the bar tomorrow I'm ready to get back to work.

Even though I'm a bit aprehensive about losing my solitude, I also know just as strongly that you only appreciate stuff when it's precious. An hour at dawn with a cup of hot chocolate in the winter is a great moment, but only if you get just an hour. If you do that all day, it gets boring.