This will pass. You'll be fine.

[ste_noni]

In my last post, I was all upset about Ellie going to daycare. I still am, but I don't want to forget this one particular moment from yesterday. Originally, I was sort of mentally dedicating this post to zmayhem, but after an exchange with aimeejmc, I feel like maybe I need to dedicate it to me. Or her, for reminding me about the whole thing. Anyway, here's what happened:

I was in the commissary yesterday buying groceries. Ellie was sound asleep in her stroller and I was really enjoying shopping in peace. As I headed down the baking goods aisle, I heard a newborn cry and I looked up to see a mom and two little baby feet poking out form under a blanket. The mom was holding the baby tucked up against her and the baby was under a blanket. I recognized the "trying to breastfeed a small baby who still requires two hands and doesn't latch all that well on her own" pose immediately. The woman looked tired and stressed. I'm not positive, but I'm pretty sure she was wishing she was alone in the aisle, or more realistically, that she wasn't in the aisle at all but was back at home in a comfy chair with her feet up. I had this urge to run up to her and say, "You are doing such a great thing for you and your baby. I know breastfeeding is hard and sometimes painful, but I love that part of my relationship with my daughter so much and I'm sure you will too! I know it's hard, but I promise, this will pass and you'll be fine." Of course, I restrained the urge because she would have thought I was crazy. I walked past her and didn't stare because I figured the thing that would help her the most would be to give her privacy.

Then, as I rounded the end of my aisle, pushing my stroller ahead of me, I had this epiphany. That was me, just over a year ago! Look how far I've made it! Going to the grocery store with Ellie used to be a huge production that took lots of timing and planning. Now I throw a diaper and some wipes in my purse and off we go. I actually got chills and goosebumps thinking about how, 15 months ago, I was that woman in the aisle. It seemed like Ellie would be an infant forever! I loved her so much then, and I thought she was as close to perfect as humanly possible, but look at her now! She's cuter and way more fun and interesting.

Life has a funny way of bringing you full circle. I was sitting at home tonight (Joe's at a work thing) feeling so sad about Ellie and daycare. It just seems so hard and scary. And, after posting about it here, I got this response from Aimee that, among other things, said, "This will pass. She will be fine." And thanks to the woman in the grocery aisle, I knew she was right.

Comments

[aimeejmc.livejournal.com]

Whew. For a second there, I thought you were gonna tell me to eff off!

It's amazing the kinship we feel towards other mothers, isn't it? Whenever I see a new mom, and she looks bedraggled and exhausted and looking as though she feel she'll never make it to that first birthday without snapping, I want to run up and hug her and reassure her.

But, like you said, don't want to appear craxy. So, I give a warm smile of solidarity and say a small prayer for her.

[ste-noni.livejournal.com]

No way! I really appreciated what you had to say. Ellie and Em are only a fw months apart, but at this age, you guys have so. much. more. experience!

[cashmerepett.livejournal.com]

It's really amazing how HARD it is at first and then, once you get into your groove, how wonderful it is.

I took Liv into her 9 month check up yesterday and the Ped asked how she was (and how I was). I told him the first four months with two was absolute hell, but now it was so much better.

He just smiled and said, "Well, I don't like to point that out to parents right away, but that's the way it's always been at our house." They have four kids so he knows what he's talking about.

Whenever I see a mom struggling through something I want to run up and give her a hug and tell her she's doing a great job--but, like Aimee, I don't want them to think I'm the craxy lady.

[ste-noni.livejournal.com]

If there was one piece of advice I could give women who are pregnant with their first, it would be not to focus so much on L&D, but to spend time preparing for how life will change. However, it may not be possible to really get it in advance

9 months! Wow!