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ste_noniJoe and I had this sort of discussion today. Definitely not an argument. Mostly it consisted of me being bothered by something small, not wanting to make a big deal of it, feeling that mentioning it made me weak somehow, but then recognizing that if I said nothing, I'd be pissed off for a while and remembering that keeping this sort of thing to myself tends to make me cut off and isolated which I'm trying to avoid for the moment.
What sucks is that with him 9 hours ahead of me now, and not able to use the phone when he wants, this conversation consisted of e-mails and a phone call dragging out over hours instead of minutes. I'm clearer in e-mail but it takes 5 times as long.
It's all resolved to my satisfaction now - as much as is possible remembering that he is who he is and I am who I am. But I just want to "make it all better" which would require ignoring the thing in the first place, which I know is not healthy, or having him here to smile at me. You can't really kiss and make up over the phone. You can try, but it's not the same.
ION, today I reached the point where I started spotting in my last pregnancy, although the whole thing dragged on for over a week. I'm sure this baby is fine. I had the ultrasound three weeks ago. I've had not spotting or cramping since. But I just can't get rid of this fear that is following me around. I have a ultrasound Monday and I know that will resolve my concerns, at least for a while. I just wish this incredibly empty weekend would speed by. I think my BtVS S7 DVDs will be calling my name starting tomorrow morning.
What sucks is that with him 9 hours ahead of me now, and not able to use the phone when he wants, this conversation consisted of e-mails and a phone call dragging out over hours instead of minutes. I'm clearer in e-mail but it takes 5 times as long.
It's all resolved to my satisfaction now - as much as is possible remembering that he is who he is and I am who I am. But I just want to "make it all better" which would require ignoring the thing in the first place, which I know is not healthy, or having him here to smile at me. You can't really kiss and make up over the phone. You can try, but it's not the same.
ION, today I reached the point where I started spotting in my last pregnancy, although the whole thing dragged on for over a week. I'm sure this baby is fine. I had the ultrasound three weeks ago. I've had not spotting or cramping since. But I just can't get rid of this fear that is following me around. I have a ultrasound Monday and I know that will resolve my concerns, at least for a while. I just wish this incredibly empty weekend would speed by. I think my BtVS S7 DVDs will be calling my name starting tomorrow morning.
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(no subject)
Date: 2004-11-19 07:09 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2004-11-20 04:32 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2004-11-20 08:54 am (UTC)I'll probably be doing some ginger cake for my editor and staff at St. Martins, but I'm actually going to be doing a lot of baking. Do you have a preference?
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Date: 2004-11-19 08:14 pm (UTC)