Becoming

I know I have shared this online several times, but when I was so depressed after my first miscarriage, it was Buffy that pulled me out of it. It's almost embarrassing to admit, but I've gotten over that part because Buffy really was that awesome of a show.  I was discussing Pangs elsewhere online and that led me to download and watch (with Ellie) Becoming, both parts, on Monday night.  I knew Ellie would love Buffy because she loves karate and even the scary stuff is not too scary.

Watching it made me want to talk about it again.  I really think this is my favorite TV episode ever.  It really is a good story but having watching it dozens of times, I just love how Joss structured it.  

In case anyone hasn't seen it, here's summary:

Buffy's previously awesome boyfriend, Angel, has turned evil.  Not just annoying or not calling her, but actually killing one of her teachers.  And so she's been feeling alone and overwhelmed, knowing that she will have to deal with him. By the beginning of Becoming, she has realized that she will have to fight him and kill him.  And she's ready.  And then she finds something that might bring him back - make him good again - but it may be too late.  And then one by one, stuff starts falling apart around her.  [SPOILER!!!!!]  Her friend Kendra is killed by Angel's vampires, Giles is kidnapped by Angel, she is blamed for Kendra's murder, she is expelled from school, and finally, her mom tells her "If you walk out that door, don't come back!".  I don't know how many legs her tripod has, but they are all kicked out from under her. 

There are some hilarious moments in between all this and I'm sure the first time I saw it, I loved getting Angel's backstory.  But the best part of the whole story comes when she is finally fighting Angel.  He is taunting her about how everything she loves and care about is gone, and when you take away all that, what is left?  And he goes to stab her with the sword, and she answers "me" and stops the sword with her hands.  I'm totally not doing it justice, but it is...I can never find quite the right word...but it is something like inspiring. 

And I haven't even talked about the end, which just gutted me the first time around and still can make me teary at times.  Buffy deals with a lot of blows later on in her life, but I always think of this moment as the first loss of innocence/hardening of the shell around her.  By the time Once More With Feeling comes along, her "going through the motions" about saving world over and over seem so real and earned.  Okay, I think I'm starting to sound like a crazy person to someone who hasn't watched this show.  And work is calling.

Watching it Monday night made me love Buffy all over again.  I haven't even mentioned Spike, but he has some great scenes in Becoming.