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Sep. 18th, 2007 01:09 pm So, I'm back to that point in life where I think about posting stuff but never have time to actually do it. Here's a bullet list of stuff on my mind:
1. Our house was invaded by ants last night - maybe thousands of them. They were attracted to the dog food, but there were so many of them that I had to spray them. I hate exposing Ellie, the dogs, the baby, and myself to that stuff, but these ants bite and Ellie reacts badly to them. Anyway, trying to yank her up out of the ants, I banged her toes on the doorjam. I know it really hurt and I felt really bad about it.
2. I had such a great vision of having roast chicken for dinner and then eating leftovers for the rest of the week. The roast chicken, however, took forever last night and Ellie and I were both hungry and tired by the time it was done. And, the chicken turned out to be scrawny so it was a lot of work for not much meat.
3. I rearranged my week to do something with my coworkers tonight. Not something fun, but they all want to get together and file some sort of complaint against our supervisor. While I agree she's difficult at times, none of what they are bitching about qualifies as an EO complaint (their first idea) or a union grievance (their second). I agreed to go out of solidarity, but I'd already decided not to sign anything. Then, today, they cancel because someone is too busy.
4. Literally as we were standing next to the car this morning, getting ready to leave, Ellie had an accident. She had wanted to wear panties and wanted to put on two pair, so I let her. I feel bad that she didn't even make it to school, although I wasn't upset or anything. I didn't mind, but I had to take her in, rinse her off, and change her shorts, socks, and shoes. I felt bad for her and I know she felt bad but it all made me late for work. Plus, I couldn't make her hair look as cute as I normally would which always makes me a bit sad.
5. Finally, being pregnant in PR is stressing me out. My first doctor misled me (intentionally, I don't know) into believing that there were no natural childbirth options in a hospital here in PR. I picked a midwife, and I liked her, but Joe wasn't totally behind the idea yet so I never finalized anything with her. I ended up picking this midwife practice for my routine prenatal care and I realy really like them a lot. But the hospital is 3rd world, they don't support breastfeeding, and I don't think they have sufficient facilities for any sort of NICU problem.
I think the homebirth midwife was pushing me to see if this was what I really wanted, but it sort of makes me feel like she doesn't want me as a patient. I called another very highly recommended midwife, but she is already full for February. Then I found out there is a very pro-breastfeeding hospital that does waterbirths, but only with one doctor. And...he won't take me because I'm too far along (he says it's too high risk. I don't get that. I understand he doesn't want to add patients but I don't see how it's high risk. Anyway...) I finally got ahold of the original midwife, Vanessa. Joe and I are totally agreed we want a homebirth now, but she still keeps mentioning other options. I don't get it. She said, again, that she just wants to make sure I feel that I have choices, but it really feels like she doesn't want me as a patient. Now, I've been calling her to confirm our Thursday appointment and she's never home and never returns my calls. I'm starting to feel really stuck and at 19 weeks, while I have plenty of time for baby, I don't have pletny of time for finding care. And the fact that I'm still not feeling the baby kick is really stressing me out. If I do go with this midwife, I think I'm going to have to be very open with her and ask her if she doesn't want me for some reason and why she's so hard to reach. :( Who would have thought my husband-less first birth would be the easy one.
1. Our house was invaded by ants last night - maybe thousands of them. They were attracted to the dog food, but there were so many of them that I had to spray them. I hate exposing Ellie, the dogs, the baby, and myself to that stuff, but these ants bite and Ellie reacts badly to them. Anyway, trying to yank her up out of the ants, I banged her toes on the doorjam. I know it really hurt and I felt really bad about it.
2. I had such a great vision of having roast chicken for dinner and then eating leftovers for the rest of the week. The roast chicken, however, took forever last night and Ellie and I were both hungry and tired by the time it was done. And, the chicken turned out to be scrawny so it was a lot of work for not much meat.
3. I rearranged my week to do something with my coworkers tonight. Not something fun, but they all want to get together and file some sort of complaint against our supervisor. While I agree she's difficult at times, none of what they are bitching about qualifies as an EO complaint (their first idea) or a union grievance (their second). I agreed to go out of solidarity, but I'd already decided not to sign anything. Then, today, they cancel because someone is too busy.
4. Literally as we were standing next to the car this morning, getting ready to leave, Ellie had an accident. She had wanted to wear panties and wanted to put on two pair, so I let her. I feel bad that she didn't even make it to school, although I wasn't upset or anything. I didn't mind, but I had to take her in, rinse her off, and change her shorts, socks, and shoes. I felt bad for her and I know she felt bad but it all made me late for work. Plus, I couldn't make her hair look as cute as I normally would which always makes me a bit sad.
5. Finally, being pregnant in PR is stressing me out. My first doctor misled me (intentionally, I don't know) into believing that there were no natural childbirth options in a hospital here in PR. I picked a midwife, and I liked her, but Joe wasn't totally behind the idea yet so I never finalized anything with her. I ended up picking this midwife practice for my routine prenatal care and I realy really like them a lot. But the hospital is 3rd world, they don't support breastfeeding, and I don't think they have sufficient facilities for any sort of NICU problem.
I think the homebirth midwife was pushing me to see if this was what I really wanted, but it sort of makes me feel like she doesn't want me as a patient. I called another very highly recommended midwife, but she is already full for February. Then I found out there is a very pro-breastfeeding hospital that does waterbirths, but only with one doctor. And...he won't take me because I'm too far along (he says it's too high risk. I don't get that. I understand he doesn't want to add patients but I don't see how it's high risk. Anyway...) I finally got ahold of the original midwife, Vanessa. Joe and I are totally agreed we want a homebirth now, but she still keeps mentioning other options. I don't get it. She said, again, that she just wants to make sure I feel that I have choices, but it really feels like she doesn't want me as a patient. Now, I've been calling her to confirm our Thursday appointment and she's never home and never returns my calls. I'm starting to feel really stuck and at 19 weeks, while I have plenty of time for baby, I don't have pletny of time for finding care. And the fact that I'm still not feeling the baby kick is really stressing me out. If I do go with this midwife, I think I'm going to have to be very open with her and ask her if she doesn't want me for some reason and why she's so hard to reach. :( Who would have thought my husband-less first birth would be the easy one.
