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ste_noniI got up this morning, got dressed for church, was on my way out the door and Joe called. We actually got to talk for 30 minutes - it was so nice to have a leisurely conversation instead of trying to cram everything into 10 minutes.
This meant that I missed church. I felt sort of bad about missing it because I'm not crazy about this particular church. It's okay, but I feel like I don't fit in. I don't fit in with the single people because I'm not "looking for a nice Christian man to marry." I also constantly feel out of place with the married people my age because they all have their spouses and families around. It tends to just remind me of what I don't have at the moment, and then I get angry about being alone so much, and that's not helpful.
But after that, today was nice. I had two friends come over this afternoon. I made cranberry scones with (faux) clotted cream and apple pecan bread. Both were really good. I also treated myself to some oregon chai which I love so much, but I've been avoiding due to pregnancy. My friend H. brought her dog and he spent hours wrestling and chasing my two dogs. H's husband works with mine and he's in Iraq now too. My other friend, L., her husband is here, but he's headed to Afghanistan in June. It's nice because they already understand my range of feelings related to Joe being gone. Other people can understand, too, but it's nice not to feel like a person to be pitied all the time. H and I both moved this summer from places were we felt comfortable and established to a new town when the only reason we are here is our (now) absent husbands.
All told, it was a nice day. If I could have one day like that per week, I think I would be content.
This meant that I missed church. I felt sort of bad about missing it because I'm not crazy about this particular church. It's okay, but I feel like I don't fit in. I don't fit in with the single people because I'm not "looking for a nice Christian man to marry." I also constantly feel out of place with the married people my age because they all have their spouses and families around. It tends to just remind me of what I don't have at the moment, and then I get angry about being alone so much, and that's not helpful.
But after that, today was nice. I had two friends come over this afternoon. I made cranberry scones with (faux) clotted cream and apple pecan bread. Both were really good. I also treated myself to some oregon chai which I love so much, but I've been avoiding due to pregnancy. My friend H. brought her dog and he spent hours wrestling and chasing my two dogs. H's husband works with mine and he's in Iraq now too. My other friend, L., her husband is here, but he's headed to Afghanistan in June. It's nice because they already understand my range of feelings related to Joe being gone. Other people can understand, too, but it's nice not to feel like a person to be pitied all the time. H and I both moved this summer from places were we felt comfortable and established to a new town when the only reason we are here is our (now) absent husbands.
All told, it was a nice day. If I could have one day like that per week, I think I would be content.
